For some reason I have, in about 8 weeks, “found” EIGHT of my hard lost pounds. My friend Judy once said that she was not loosing weight, she was getting rid of it for good. Because when you loose something, you generally go looking for it again. Which I apparently have done. Why? I’m sure I can list a myriad of reasons…a stressful couple of months, my on-going struggle with depression, menopause, trouble getting on board with the new points plus plan. Blah blah blah. But really, those are ALL excuses. What happened was I simply stopped paying attention. The truth is, I lost that initial 60 pounds by playing games with myself…(how much can I cheat and still loose weight each week was a popular game). When the weight was gone, the game was over and I went back to my old habits. Because it was a game, I didn’t really replace old habits with new ones. They were only skin deep.
What do 8 pounds mean? They mean my pants are uncomfortably tight. They mean that the dress I was going to give away because it was getting too big now fits me just right again. It means that the summer dresses I was looking forward to buying are not going to be worn (this year) because I refuse to buy clothes in a bigger size. I’m not going there. What amazes me is how easily it can come back. If I don’t sit up and take notice now – today – than it will soon be 10 pounds, then 15, and so on.
This isn’t a game. This is the rest my life. I get it now.